Tales of Arkham
by Quincygirl93
Summary: Arkham gets a new doctor. Problem: She's just as insane as the inmates.
1. Day 1

Tales from Arkham

Summary: A new doctor has been introduced to Arkham. Problem: She's just as insane as the inmates. Slight Crane/OC, nothing more. Don't own Batman or any of it's characters. Just my OC, Gayle, and her pet alligator, sparkles. This is sort of set up as one shots and stuff, some completely random and others connected.

* * *

_Day 1_

A new doctor was coming. Everyone knew. Supposedly, she was being transfered to Arkham from another city. And supposedly, she was supposed to be there in time for the group session scheduled for that morning. Dr. Lealand stared at the clock, biting her lower lip as it read eight fifty-five. Another five minutes and the session would start. And she was not here yet...

**"GANGWAY!"**

The shout ripped down the hall like a knife, causing the psychiatrist to poke her head out the door. Shoes slammed against the tiles as the lithe doctor sped up, hurdling over two orderlies that had braced for impact. "Stupid watch! Always two days late!" She shouted, skidding into the room just as the Joker crossed his arms and yelled "Safe!". Unfortunately, as she tried to stop, she hit the leg of an empty chair and was sent flying...

Right into Scarecrow, followed by a loud _**CRASH**_ as the two were tangled together on the floor.

Everyone stared at a rather red faced Professor Crane, who was too shocked to even say anything as the new doctor untangled herself from him and the chair he had been sitting in a few moments ago. She groaned lightly in his ear, gently pushing herself up just enough that their faces were mere centimeters from each other. "Hello handsome." She muttered, hazel green eyes half lidded behind light brown rectangular frames and a lopsided grin on her lips. Jonathan Crane's face burned a shade of red even darker than his own hair as she sat up, shaking her head as she blinked several times. "Ow, I think I hit my head." She winced, rubbing her forehead as she looked around. "Where am I?"

"You're in one of session rooms, Dr. Gayle." Dr. Lealand answered, picking up the chair that the young looking doctor had tripped on. "I'm Dr. Lealand."

"Ah, yes. I apologize for being nearly late on my first day. Gotham has terrible traffic." Dr. Gayle shook her head, smirking down at the inmate she was still sitting on. "But it has some pretty cute men."

* * *

Dr. Gayle was surprisingly quiet as the session began. Her eyes were often trained on the pad of paper and pencil in hand, long mousy brown hair falling into her face only to be pushed back behind her ears. "So what about you Gayle?" She looked up at the blonde's question, pushing her glasses up her nose. "Excuse me?"

"Didn't ya hear me the first time?" Harley asked, tilting her head slightly as the new arrival shook her head. "I asked ya where you're from." Gayle blinked, as if she was confused by the question. "I thought you would all know by now."

"Meh, we like a surprise every once in a while." The blonde replied, smiling a little when the doctor chuckled. "Richmond, North Carolina. I don't have any family so there's really no reason to go back." She smirked, looking at the door out of the corner of her eye. "Except for maybe an old friend or two." She smiled rather eeriely, her voice hollow of happiness as she laughed. "Yes, no reason to go back at all."

* * *

Dr. Lealand had read over her file before. Family had died in a fire several years before, leaving the young woman a vast fortune and an old house behind. What disturbed her was that the file also said that she had a pet alligator named Sparkles. Which she liked to bring to work occasionally.

"IT'S TRYING TO EAT ME!"

She was going to have to talk to her about that later.

* * *

Dr. Gayle sighed and slapped her hand over her eyes, the large green reptile with a blue collar around it's thick neck chewing on a scrap of blue cloth not too far away. "This is why I have a sign that says _'Do not enter'_!"

* * *

I have no idea why I'm writing this. I hope you enjoyed my ever so terrible attempt to write comedy.


	2. Day 2

Tales of Arkham

Don't own Batman or any of its characters! Just My Oc, Gayle.

* * *

_Day 2_

_**Session 1: Harleen Quinzel (Harley Quinn)**_

"So, doc, what's your type?"

Gayle glanced up from the manilla folder in her hands, smirking slightly at the blonde before her. "I thought I was supposed to ask the questions, _Miss_ _Quinzel_."

"Call me Harley; everyone does." Harley replied as she sat back, her smile never leaving her lips. "You don't seem to mind me calling you by your first name."

"One of my nicknames during high school was Nightingale. I was quite a singer, both in the choir and solo." Gayle grinned, taking off her glasses and rubbing her eyes. "What made you go in psychology?" Harley asked, watching the doctor get up from her chair and walk over to the water cooler on the other side of the room. "I wanted to do more with my life as well as rid myself of _unwanted_ attention. Want something to drink?"

"Can I have a soda?"

"Sure, I don't see why not." Gayle nodded, reaching for the bright orange lunch bag she kept hidden in her filing cabinet. "So?" Harley sang, leaning back in the long couch most psychiatrists had in their offices. "So what?" The young doctor replied, a brow quirked curiously as she handed the blonde inmate a can of Coke. "What's your type?"

"You're not going to give up, are you?"

* * *

_**Session 2: Jervis Tetch (The Mad Hatter)**_

"What's your type?"

Gayle glared at the blonde man with the black silk top hat on his head, her grip on her pencil tightening with each second that passed.

"Why do you want to know?" She seethed through clenched teeth, her eyes narrowing darkly. Jervis sat there, wringing his hands as he glanced up at her. "I-I...was just curious. That's all."

"Well, you know what they say, Mr. Tetch." Gayle growled as she sat back, her arms crossed over her red button down shirt. "Curiosity killed the cat."

"But satisfaction brought it back."

"...You have a minute to get out of here. Otherwise, you will find my pencil _up_ your ass."

* * *

_**Session 3: Edward Nygma (The Riddler)**_

"So, you like red heads?"

"...Shut up before I shove my pencil up your _**ass**_."

* * *

_**Session 7: Professor Jonathan Crane (The Scarecrow)**_

Gayle's eye was twitching as her last patient was escorted into her office. For the past few hours, she had gotten nothing but questions about what kind of men she liked from all of the inmates she had sessions with, and as the former professor sat down before her, she could have sworn that she had seen a slight smirk on his lips before it was masked by a sullen frown. "So, you're the mastermind behind the questions." A bold accusation, one that had certainly shocked the auburn haired man for a brief second. But the frown quickly returned as he crossed his arms, turning away from the doctor rather snooty. "And what if I am?"

"I hate to break it to you, but it won't work."

"Well, you started it! And you don't even know me!"

"I've read your file enough to know you're a narcissistic asshole... Oh wait, that's the Riddler."

"My point!"

**"SHUT UP OR I'LL SHOVE MY PENCIL UP YOUR SKINNY ASS!"**

* * *

Meh, it's short, but that's basically day 2 of Gayle's Day at Arkham. Hope you enjoyed!


	3. Day 3

Tales of Arkham

Don't own batman or any of it's characters!

* * *

_Day 3_

_**Session 1: Professor Jonathan Crane (The Scarecrow)**_

Gayle's eye was twitching again as he sat down in the chair across from her, her lips constantly moving without a single sound uttered from them as she wrote. Professor Crane coughed, ignoring the sleep deprived glare she flashed at him before she sat back up. But then she smirked, getting up from her chair and sitting on her desk with her legs crossed neatly under her tight pencil skirt.

"So, tell me, Professor Crane. What's your type?"

* * *

"What the hell?!"

The guards jumped at the loud shout, grabbing their weapons as the door was flung open. Jonathan Crane stumbled out, his face covered in lipstick kisses and his eyes wide with, surprisingly, fear. "Get her away from me!" He shouted, ducking behind one guard as Gayle stepped out. "Oh what's wrong, Professor Crane? I don't have cooties." She smirked, reapplying her ruby red lipstick while using the glass in the door as a mirror. Professor Crane only whimpered, silent plea's to be lead back to his cell clearly seen in his eyes. The guards stared at her, blinking several times before grabbing the tall lanky man off his feet and leading him away.

"Hm, so he can't take what he dishes out? Fine by me. I enjoy a good hunt."

* * *

"I think she really likes you Professor Crane."

"Child, there's a difference between _liking_ someone and _raping_ them."

* * *

Day 3 is up! I hope you've enjoyed it so far!


	4. Gayle's Day Off 1

Tales of Arkham

Don't own batman or any of it's characters!

* * *

_Day 4 (Gayle's Day off)_

**_Morning:_**

It's usually not a good idea to wake me up. I can do it myself just fine. Apparently, one of my room mates don't think so. You see, in our spare time, we watch anime and play video games. Though most would think it's a waste of time, it's actually rather relaxing. But anyway, for those of you that have seen _BLEACH_, you will know what I'm talking about. I had just woken up after having a crazy dream about exploding eggs, just sitting up in my hammock minding my own business (I like hammocks better than beds), when I hear **"GOOD MORNING GAYLE!"**, followed by a _whoosh_ and a loud _**KA-BOOM** _next to me.

"You idjit. I don't need a wake-up call."

Don't matter how many times I say that. She always does it. Anywho, Ari glares at me before picking herself up off the floor, dusting off her blue and green yukata. Ari runs a japanese restuarant not too far away from our house, so of course she'd be wearing one rather casually. Let alone one that showed a little too much cleavage. She's got quite a bosom and curves, unlike skinny me and my flatchested self. And the yukata only showed it off. "Well hey, you like to sleep in till noon on your days off." Meh, it was true. Not that I didn't mind my job, but I hate getting up at six in morning.

I'm not a morning person, so don't judge. "Whatever, I'm up now." I sighed, slipping out of the hammock. I shivered as my bare feet touch the cold floor. Ari has already disappeared down stairs, no doubt for food. Kim's probably done fixing breakfast, which means I don't have to worry about getting dressed right away. And I think Kam is in the shower. Kim and Kam are twins. They also work with Ari. And they are just as crazy too.

For example, as I'm walking out of my room in my white tank top, red basketball shorts, and pink slippers, I spy a piece of fishing line across the top step, as well as an unconcious Ari at the bottom. No doubt that the trap was meant me. "Thanks for taking the fall." I grin as I pass her, entering the renovated dining room. There is a low table surrounded by cushions, walls painted a calm dark green and supporting several picture frames with cherry blossom branches within the glass. The table's already been set, as I can smell the rice and miso soup sitting at my spot.

"Ohayo Geiru."(1) I glance over at the sliding door that lead to the kitchen, nodding my head at Kim's greeting. "Ohayo Kimu."(2) I replied, sitting at my spot next to the window. "Anata wa yoku nemuremashita ka?"(3) Kim asked, sitting next to me. "Hai."(4) I answered, a bit reluctantly. To be honest, I haven't been sleeping well at all no thanks to those dreams I keep having. The ones about fire and crows (nasty birds), about demonic voices and exploding eggs... as well as the Joker in a thong. A lime green **_THONG_**! Do you know how disturbing that is?!

"You're lying." Kim stated in English, ignoring me as I grabbed a pair of wooden chopsticks from the center and clapped my hands together. "Itadakimasu." I muttered, breaking the two pieces of bamboo and digging into my bowl of rice. "I had another nightmare. This time it was about exploding eggs and duck bombs and..."

* * *

_**Mid-Morning:**_

It's now ten o'clock. And seeing as my room mates are gone for the rest of the day, I decided to go take a walk around the neighborhood after watching the morning news (Ari records it) and finding out that not one, but two of my patients has escaped again (I'll let you guess who). No doubt the guards are going to be jumping at every shadow for weeks on end.

* * *

_**Afternoon:**_

Well, I figured I'd stop by the bank for no apparent reason. I found a nice warm spot to sit, read the paper, watch people. Then things started to get serious. You see, around three, it often got pretty busy which meant that there was a big crowd of people around. Making it perfect for one to slip in unnoticed. I spotted the Hatter out of the corner of my eye, plopping down on the bench behind me. Though many probably hadn't recognized him, seeing as they were too busy going about their day, I figured why not?

"Why is a raven like a writing desk?" I pondered outloud, earning a subtle jump from the blonde man. "I thought so." I grinned as he turned, blue eyes hidden behind a pair of large circular sunglasses. You know, like the stereotypical hippie would wear? What made it worse was that they were tinted pink as well. "How the hell is anyone not noticing those?" I asked, pointing to the glasses. "I don't know." Jervis shrugged, blinking when I handed him the paper for today. "Here. That way you'll look less conspicious than with those and that white suit."

"Why are you helping us?" He asked, opening the paper to the business section. "Who else is in on this?" I grinned much like a cheshire cat, already knowing the answer but just wanted to confirm my suspicions. "Scarecrow and Riddler. Wh- OH." He might have been blonde, but he was far from stupid as he had turned away quickly before smirking to himself. "There's a broom closet not far from here."

"That's all I needed to know."

* * *

_**Bank Heist:**_

Jervis was right. Hiding in the broom closet was definately a good idea. And it's not that hard to catch a Scarecrow. You see, being the usually fear inspired tormentor that he is, when the closet door had creaked open, he came to investigate with a can of fear toxin in hand. Again, it's not that hard to catch him. Especially if you're clinging to the ceiling. So I kindof landed on him. Well, his back. The impact was enough to knock the can out of his hands. As well as leave him dazed for a few minutes, leaving me to do what I please. Which I'm pretty sure you've figured out what I was about to do.

I won't tell you all the details, but he tasted like apple cider.

* * *

_**Evening:**_

Well, after everyone had been captured and sent back to Arkham by Batman, I ended up walking down to Ari's restuarant, The Crimson Lotus. It's never packed during five, don't know why, but it was a change from the busy streets and screaming people that had surrounded me all day. "Yokoso!"(5) I grinned as the three shouts rang out, sitting down at the sushi bar. "Thanks guys. Busy day?"

"You could say that." Ari replied, a pair of white fox ears on the top of her head twitching slightly. They're props she designed herself. There's a set of fox tails she's also working on to go with them. "The usual?"

"Yeah. And bring me a thing of Sake will you?" I don't usually drink, but I felt like it was too special of an occasion to pass it up. "Don't you have work tomorrow?" Kim stuck her head out the door, a pair of purple striped cat ears sticking out of her black hair. "I'm not going to get that wasted." I countered, glancing at the small white saucer and matching Sake bottle before me. "So, what's the occasion?" Ari asked, leaning against the red wood as I took a sip. "Nothing special. Just felt like I needed a drink."

"Don't tell me you made out with that creep."

"And what if I did?"

"When and where?"

"Today. Broom closet at Gotham bank during a heist. And he complied too."

"No!"

"Ari lost the bet Kam!"

"I can hear from back here!"

* * *

Translations:

1. Good morning Gayle.

2. Good morning Kim.

3. Did you sleep well last night?

4. Yes.

5. Welcome!

I hope you enjoyed!


End file.
